I need a monkey

I think I am going to get myself a pet monkey. This follows the discovery that no matter how much your spouse/ lover adores you, they only put up with a limited number of scratch-my-back requests. You can emotionally blackmail them into longer scratching sessions, but they can be easily distracted by the television or computer.

I’d like to be able to have a monkey that I train to scratch my back with just the right intensity, and with the ability to follow the directions. Like “A little to the left. A little to the right”. Five inches to the North-West. A monkey should be able to do that. All for a few bananas. No?

8 Comments

Filed under Funny, Self

8 Responses to I need a monkey

  1. you could hop over to the aussie ckt team. But dont let him write a book!

  2. Now you know why men, Janardhan Ramalingam included, have the poonal. To get the monekey off the back!

  3. ok another strat (my mom came up with this) is to have a kid. according to my mom it’s worked fantastically (and i don’t have any siblings)

  4. I can imagine the ensuing scenario in your house:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsPdmYb4T4k

    PS: Pay attention to the lyrics. ;-)

  5. Wasn’t there something about having a kid for exactly this reason? I like how you equate children with monkeys.

    Also, you must have a very itchy back to post about it so often! :-)

  6. Another (not involving producing a kid to exploit him/ her) human – as opposed to simian – strategy could be to get the human scratched to moisturise the back. :-P

  7. first time commenter.. long time reader.

    Monkeys are overrated!

    they might start deserting you over TV programs as well..

    when it comes to watching tv or getting distracted men and monkeys have around the same attention span..

    this gives new meaning to

    Man-am oru kurangu !

    what is the point in replacing man with kurangu?

    :)

  8. You calling me a chimp?! (since The Better Half already has me trained)

    J.A.P.