In Madras, a group of very old women with sharp tongues discussed the perils of extinction. What if in ten years from now, no Maamis were left? Maamis are the very core of the economy in Tamil Nadu. They buy tonnes of jasmine, which keeps a lot of people very happy. They provide matchmaking services for jars of pickles, which keeps other people happy. Their decision to buy a specific sort of rice grown in one particular nook of the Cauvery delta, determines the price of the paddy crop for that season. So much so, that the Maamis decided at one point to be very kind, and picked the rice of the month through a lottery system. Even the IT sector is completely dependent on them. It was in fact the Maamis that urged their children to “study computers”. IT giants get nightmares. What if the sharp tongued wits decide to spread the rumour that studying fashion was better? Where would they go look for engineers then?
This threat of extinction would shake the very foundations of the Tamil economy. They sent a team of delegates to Sir Mokshagundam Visvesvarayya. His wife had recently died, and he must really feel for their cause. The idea of a television contest was floated. They would put out a call for potential Maamis. Twenty contestants would be chosen and divided into two teams. The teams would be given a task every week, with a team leader. The losing team would have to come back to the board room, where Sir MV would say “You’re Fried!” or “You’re Bonda!” to one of them. The winning contestant would become the Maamiprentice. She would develop a Business Plan to recruit more Maamis. Television would add glamour, and more young nubile girls would join the force. World Domination was at hand.
The TV slot they were given, unfortunately, clashed with the World Naked Bike Race (WNBR). Panic spread. Phone calls were made. The Maamis, decided to use their government contacts. After much lobbying, it was decided that the race would be renamed World Baked Bike Race (WBBR), and that the bike racers would have to bake two batches of cookies, after every 100 kms. Since baking is against Tamil culture, the people would instead watch The Maamipretince. Tamil Economy was safe once again.
Note – This rather absurd piece to go in as an entry in this marvelous contest.