Walking today in the suddenly cold London, I saw a beautiful Labrador and a young woman walk by. I love dogs. I have never been able to resist the urge to talk to a dog. As someone who has had a dog at home for most of her life, I was always comfortable if someone decided to get pally with the dog or asked me a few questions. Even better, the number of stray dogs in India means that you always have wagging company on the streets. From the three funny ones right outside my home in Hyderabad to two very lazy dogs in Bombay. The smaller and more shy one was named Tiger.
However, I couldn’t as much make eye contact with the dog. It’s been really long since I held the gruff face of a mutt in my hands. It’s the same thing with kids. While I completely understand how annoying it must be for a parent in India to be constantly charged with the affections of complete strangers towards their children, I find it hard to even look at children here. I am not entirely sure if it’s about my skin colour. People seem to stake their claim on children and dogs regardless of your colour. Perhaps it’s about trust, and I understand where that comes from. But it’s been months since I conversed with a child. Maybe I am more shy than them being paranoid.
At the Hyderabad station once, a woman hurriedly handed me a small bundle which had a three-month oldish baby along with a suitcase because she needed to use the restroom. Before I could protest, I had the tiny thing on my lap. In retrospect, I can see how somebody could have used the same tactic to abandon a child. I can also see how it’s possible that we trust the wrong people with children and dogs – both vulnerable. But paranoid people cannot raise children. Or maybe people who are not paranoid cannot raise children. I don’t know which way it is.
But sometimes I yearn for the charmingly unassuming conversation one can have with a child, or the lick of a small dog that is very happy to have you scratch its neck. But this country is full of boundaries. I used to long for boundaries when I was in India, but here I find myself hoping that there is more wriggle room between the bubbles.
PS – I am suddenly reminded of Holden Caulfield in The Catcher In The Rye –
“Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around— nobody big, I mean— except me. And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff— I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be. I know it’s crazy.”
Pingback: My new WPMU Blog » Blog Archive » Dogs November 8, 2006 8:27 pm
ohh tell me about it! I love little babies/kids too, and Chinese kids out here are soooo darn cute and incredibly well behaved. Someone warned me that people don’t like if you pat a baby’s head or basically try and get familiar out here..So all I can do is look at the baby and give a small smile, and go all awwwww in my head!
I have noticed this in USA but not nearly as much in Germany. It could be a paradox because everyone thinks Germans are stern. I have always given a nice smile and winky to a kiddo and got back a warm smile from the parents and a gurgle from the kid. They even encourage their kids to wave back at you! Dogs I havent ventured to pat more because I am afraid of losing my parts :)
A and I just go up to them and ask if we can pet the dog. We find it especialy hard to resist labs and terriers. Sometimes the dog has come up to us. But sometimes we do get a hostile reaction-no smile etc (but all the while the dog is wagging it’s tail). A once had a particularly bad experience outside a pub-dog good, owner not.
Nah, if it’s a Lab, go for it. They are among the few “non-racist” breeds out there :)) (I am serious about this, btw.)
With children, it’s different. America has major germophobia, so strangers are welcome to look and adore from a distance, but not actually hold the child.
Just moved to Kolkata- the latest morning walk route has these spunky street dogs who really act as if the road is their father’s! And have lovely melting eyes…
The leashed labs and pugs are usually accomapnied by formidable guardians- though I do find myself grinning idiotically at smiley looking golden retrievers!
while i was in college in maple land, and a smile was met with hostility, resorting to persuasive facial expressions and words like “pretty please, may i may i may i, i won’t bit” while continuing to smile, worked for me.
People were pretty cool with having others pet their furry loves, but when it came to kids, it was a bit different especially if your skin resembled a heavy tan, one got dished out an icy dressing all over and after having checked you out some parents wouldn’t mind it, others would simply say, “not comfy with that”, or “my lil Lucy is shy”, so i’d take the hint and wave good bye..
But then it wasn’t like that all over in maple land, some places like New Mumbai in toronto gave off a mixture of combined cultural responses. Moto is that since lil kids are cuteee, cuddle them lots, give them candy and spoil them all you can!
ange, is that waht is meant when ppl say their kid is shy? wow! i am thick headed or what :)) I always took that as encouragement to get “li’l lucy out of her shyness” LOL
http://www.tehelka.com/story_main22.asp?filename=Ne111106Dalits_like.asp
stories like this make me cry.
um have you noticed how in this country they even have a eash for children? it’s very disturbing. and degrading. i can understand it being an absolute headache to chase after a rambunction tasmanian-devil of a chile but really! a leash?
i’m never conscious of the colour of my skin, i’d perhaps be more attuned to such things as ‘my lil lucy is shy’. i like watching kids, can’t ever converse with them. they terrify me, they make me feel so non-entertaining because children offer immediate critique in a completely innocent and benign way. it;s heart crushing nonetheless. the dogs here too trot about with a greater air. manhattan is full of dogs, and they’re all styled after their masters. (most dogs are the masters though). so you have all kinds of dogs, most of them batty like the people thay hang with and very very stylish. i like dogs, except the tiny ones. the tiny ones have too much of an inferirority complex that i can’t assuage.
sorry about the typos. i was watching tv while typing. :) feeling very sheepish indeed.
a leash for kids? hedonistic, which country is that, id like to know please. are you sure it was a kid and not a consenting adult on a leash? age play comes to mind,but an actual kid on a leash doesn’t sound right.. honestlty this is like the first time im reading about it. the only leash i can think about is parents and tiny tots, keeping them around their wrist with a lil plastic strip so they wouldn’t wander off and get lost and cry out for mommy … but would like to know if its a leash for not getting lost or otherwise… baffling..
Siri, well i guess folks just interpret expressions in their own way like i did, oh wait, i did at one time attempt to try and make another lil lucy feel confident even though the mom insisted on her feeling shy and i got met with angry facial expressions and the like and then other moms huddling with lil lucy’s mom, all this while the kid was in the pram looking up at me with delight.. and i got shit scared that the mall security would throw me out or something, that i left…
oh well… some people understand, some don’t, life is beautiful, just gotta’ live with it. ;-)
I’ve definitely seen kids on leashes here. Got to agree with you Hedonistic Hobo – it’s disturbing to say the least. I am sure it’s convenient – but yikes!
it’s like a proper leash. no muzzle yet but i can think of a few kids who could have done with one. parents too.
think the top half of a leiderhosen attached to a leash, a harness-leash to keep kids nearby not the pedestrian plastic strip kind you described. i’m guess a bondage company probably manufactured it. or not. i don’t care all i know is it looks awful.