Flashback – This is when you see the spirals and enter the loop with me.
When I was about three and a half feet tall (so much easier to remember incidents and lifelines when you relate to height rather than years) and had about 14 and a half teeth, My Little Pony was dumped on little children in the newly opened up toys market. Well, consider the choice. You had very strange looking Barbies whose boobies touched their own necks. So much so that Barbies never seemed to have necks. To focus on Barbie further, you had all kinds of them. Racial differences notwithstanding. A Latino one, an Indian one, a doctor (limited edition), a firefighter (extremely limited edition), a pregnant Barbie (limited to my dreams edition).
Relatives and friends’ mothers who felt that the maternal instinct in a 3.5 feet tall woman must be (a)roused through dolls attempted cuddly animals. Now, the issue is that with a canine in the house, the cuddly thing would turn to curdle of some sort after a brief and refreshing trip to the dog’s stomach. (Haven’t you seen a dog throw up cotton and fake fur?)
Another option explored was getting me the My Little Pony. These were little dispropotionate horses (err.. ponies) that came in strange pastel shades, and had a wide range of markings on their bum.
The markings included stars, stripes, dots, polka dots et al. For me, even from the strange trignometrical angle that it gave me, the concept of a *unique graphic signature coding system* (UGSCS) on the buttocks of a pony was enough to rouse the most curious in me. The Little Ponies roused anything but maternal instinct.
There was even a little song
“I’m a My Little Pony Mommy with a Pony Family…
I love all the Little Ponies and I want them here with me”
To add to their UGSCS bums, they had very strange coloured manes and ponytails. A very well meaning friend decided to cut off the pony tail off one of the pony because such a long tail would interfere with the pony’s show-off of a spectacular starry bum.
So, today, I decide to e-hunt a bit for My Little Pony, the source of many ponytail cuts, and how-to-cut-up-a-horse lessons from childhood, and then find this,
She has flowing hair, smooth skin, languid eyes, and she’s completely naked. Are we discussing here a star of one of the approximately four hundred thousand single-, double-, and triple-X-rated films out there, or one of the approximately four hundred thousand different “My Little Ponies” they flooded toy stores with in the Eighties?
That’s what we’re here to find out. Below is a list of names. Each name belongs to either a porn star, or a My Little Pony. Your job is to try and tell the fornicator from the latter. Supine or equine? New Wave Hookers or new-agey hoofers? You make the call.
Couldn’t stop laughing!
Is nothing sacred? Not even pretty-bum ponies??
