IC so much IC shit I do

What really pisses me off is when some organisations advertise like they want to kiss your feet and rub rose water on your butt, when all they want to do is warm their asses on their chairs.

One of the examples is ICICI. Cash in on a middle class dream of having a great service from an Indian bank. Feed them on emotional shit like pension plans, retirement solutions, security of money etc. And then come up with a mopey tag line that says ‘Hum Hain Na..’

I even thought one of their Lombard Insurance Plan advertisements was so bloody sexist.

Anyhow, like an idiot, I decided to open an account in ICICI. The M.O for the same is hilarious. They hand you an ATM card with a PIN, the internet banking username/ password as soon as you deposit cash, and not a word about activation.

So in a tearing rush, I try and issue an e-cheque to transfer some cash to another account of mine, and keep getting an error of ‘Transaction Not Allowed’. Confused I call up the call centre. Now, the call centre doesn’t know jackshit about banking. You use words like SB account, and they say ICICI doesn’t have an account like that. You grit your teeth and tell them that it is BANKING terminology for SAVINGS account.

They say, ‘Oh!’

Four days of calling and not getting a response beyond ‘Uh!’, ‘Oh!’, ‘Please hold on while I check ma’am!’ and ‘I am sorry, we cannot tell you that.’ I storm into the branch. I am grinned at … etc and told my account would be activated on Saturday. Monday afternoon, and I still cannot operate my account, and those jokers are sitting on MY money and doing the ‘Uh! Oh! Can’t tell you blah blah’ routine.

Idiots.

About to blast the Sales Exec at the Branch. Hand me the RedBull!

9 Comments

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9 Responses to IC so much IC shit I do

  1. Anonymous

    I have a NRE account with ICICI bank.
    When transfering money to another ICICI account using online banking (icicibank.com), I had typed a wrong transaction password. I got a message on the screen, saying that the password entered was incorrect and the transfer was not successful.
    So I retried the transfer, and this time it went through successfully.

    Later when I checked my account I found that the first transaction had been completed even though I had entered an incorrect password.

    I called the bank to rectify the problem, but it has been 5 days and my funds have not been credited back to me.

    The amount I am talking about is Rs. 3 lakhs.

    AVOID OPENING ACCOUNT WITH ICICI

  2. Thanks for the warning Anon. ICICI banking did come across as pretty badly managed. The guys at the branch know nothing about it!

  3. Hi!
    The story continues. Thanks you heavens that you have not applie for a credit card from these bunch of jokers. The service woes are just going to multiply if u did. They are down right shoddy and unethical on this aspect.
    Read the story by typing’ Fraud ICICI credit card ‘ on google. Most entries are about the fraud that these blokes try after getting the forms filled.
    STAY AWAY is the advice.

  4. A colleague also had a very bad experience from Citi/ICICI. See here

  5. T.G.Shetty

    Avoid ICICI Bank. It is not a bank. It is a bunch of day-light robbers!
    I had the misfortune of opening a Savings account with ICICI, because their agent was after me day and night. I realised their auto-invest plan was so much junk on the first day itself. they automatically carry off any balance in excess of Rs.5000 to a Fixed Deposit. Great!You can withdraw it anyday you want- they say. What they don’t tell you is that if you happen to withdraw the amount even a single day before 1 year,( on first in first out basis!) you will lose the entire interest, gyping you out of even the mandatory SB interest!

    I opened the savings account One year back on a so called special offer of minimum balance of Rs.2000. Any nationalised bank would have given you interest on that amount at SB rate and the money would have grown. But within one year ICICI charged a service charge(for a non-existent service) Of Rs 800 800 200 and now my balance shows Rs.158, without withdrawing a single paise! I guess next quarter they will charge another 800 service charge and come knocking at my door to remit the dues!
    If you don’t call this a robbery, I don’t know what else is!

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  8. ShittyBank Customer

    Don’t even get started on the ShittyBank, oops, CitiBank – they levy all kinds of spruious charges disguised as ‘customer service’. Their helpdesks are totally clueless, and did I mention that they give no interest on the deposits. The only saving grace for ICICI is their website that’s infinitely more functional than the Citi, HDFC and the likes, even beats some of the western counterparts hands down.

    PS: Seems like banks have Indianised the ‘customer’ = kasht-maar – kill with pain!

  9. Vijay

    I’ve had on and off experiences with ICICI. Some cases the experience was harrowing, like the earlier example of credit card.

    I guess every Indian bank has an fat grease layer on their senses, you need to use the stick to get the message through. So unless you stand up and ask, they wont listen to you.

    You would have seen the way late fee payments are promptly added to your card statements, but discounts wait till the end of the billing cycle to appear !!

    So ” Lado, Maango aur Apna Haq paao”.